Using Points of View

Beyond Mind Reading...What to do with Points of View

-Part Two: Beyond Mind Reading...What to do with Points of View

Three ways to persuade
Persuading a person when they hold an Immediate point of view
Persuading a person when they hold the Suspicious point of view
Persuading a person when they hold the Microscopic point of view
Persuading a person when they hold the Telescopic point of view
Persuading a person when they hold the Outward point of view
Persuading a person when they hold the Inward point of view

In the first section, we saw two primary uses for point of view understanding.

Point of view knowledge allows you to consciously appropriate the point of view that is most suitable to the situation. In this way, you can tackle a task with the perspective that best serves the completion of the task.

Point of view is perspective. Change the point of view, and you change the perspective. Change the perspective and you see things differently. Tasks that may have looked impossible, become possible. Problems that looked big, seem smaller. Events generating severe depression, become mere irritants.

Point of view understanding also allows you to enter another person's mind and know their opinions on various matters before they are even spoken.

But beyond these two very useful services provided by point of view understanding, there is another aspect to be considered.

Point of view knowledge can be utilized to develop happy, harmonious interrelationships.

There are three elements necessary to the generation of a harmonious relationship:

You must understand how the other person wants to be treated;
You must know how to persuade the person;
You must be able to use the knowledge of persuasion to educate them and persuade them to treat you the way you want to be treated.

You already possess a basic knowledge of how other people wish to be treated in light of the point of view they hold. This knowledge will grow as you become more proficient at pinpointing points of view, since in the process you will become more familiar with the manifested characteristics of a point of view that, due to space limitations, have not been listed in this text.

Once you know the point of view, you can know how the other person wishes to be treated.

As we have noted, many conflicts arise solely from the perception of insensitivity on the part of one person toward another. Treat the other person the way he wishes to be treated, and you are perceived as sensitive to the other person's needs and this aspect of conflict is minimized.

But still, even if you treat others in the way they wish to be treated, difference of opinion are bound to occur.

A salesman begins to treat the client in the way the client wishes to be treated. The result is a more calm atmosphere for discussion, but the differences of opinion about the usefulness of the salesman's product to the client remain. The salesman desires the ability to persuade the client as to his product's usefulness.

A husband and wife are arguing over how to spend the family finances. The wife wants new furniture; the husband wants a newer car. Each is treating the other in the way they wish to be treated, but the disagreement (calmer now) still exists. Persuasion is nece4ssary (even if it's persuasion to compromise) to resolve the conflict.

Point of view knowledge gives you the foundation to become a super persuader.

There are three ways to persuade. These are:

BY USING AUTHORITY (vested or implied). Vested authority derives from a position in an institution. The institution may be government, corporate, or private. An example of a private institution is the family. However, authority in persuasion can involve more that a title and chain of command. Many people use implied as well as vested, authority. They call upon the authority of God, "experts," or tradition to persuade another person to do something in a certain way. When we speak of using authority for persuasion, we are referring to persuasion that creates more than obedience. For example, when faced with losing a job, almost any person, regardless of point of view, is likely to obey the dictums of the person in authority. But gaining obedience and gaining persuasion are two different things. A person can obey and still disagree; but silent disagreement often reduces productivity. Persuasion involves reorienting a person's perceptions so that they are eager to do what they have been persuaded to do.
BY DISCUSSION. This involves persuasion by conversation: Presenting facts, opinions, benefits, penalties, etc.
BY EXAMPLE. Setting a good example is often cited as the noblest method of persuasion. Noble it is! Effective? Well, it depends upon . . . (what else) . . . your point of view.

The point of view a person holds dictates which method of persuasion is going to be most effective.

Most people depend primarily on one of the three ways of persuading in every conflict they enter. Some few use two. Rare indeed is the individual who uses all three, let alone using them correctly.

Once you know a person's point of view (microscopic, telescopic, etc.), you can know which method of persuasion to employ and also key things you should and should not do.

If you would like to be more adept at persuading all the people in your life to see it your way, do it your way or just understand why you do things your way, you should study closely and constantly review the following sections.

As with point of view characteristics, the do's and don't's of point of view persuasion should someday be thoroughly ensconced in your mind. Until that day, this is meant to serve as a hand book. Read it to understand the big picture of this information and its usefulness to you (the telescopic point of view) and then refer to specific sections as you need them to understand and resolve situations in your daily existence (the immediate point of view). When you do use this as a handbook, be thorough in your review and consider all pertinent data before you make any judgements ( the microscopic point of view).

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Persuading a person when they hold an Immediate point of view

When a person has an immediate point of view, he responds to vested and implied authority. For the person with vested authority, persuasion of this point of view is easy. They key for a person without vested authority is to take on implied authority by referring to the wishes of pastor, God, the boss, father, etc. -- anyone with vested authority in the eyes of a person with an immediate point of view.

Conversely, when a person holds the immediate point of view, discussion and a good example have little or no impact.

When dealing with the immediate point of view, DO:

Stress immediate benefits. This person has the motto, "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it". Thus getting him to change his ways means making him think that he has already arrived at that bridge.
Ask questions to get feedback of his understanding. You must be constantly monitoring this individual for understanding. It is often easy to lose these people, not because they are stupid, but because their immediate point of view does not allow any aptitude for dealing with even the most basic of abstractions.
Keep it simple. Again, not because they're stupid. Intelligence has nothing to do with point of view, but abstraction does. Keep it simple. Keep it on a concrete level. Don't generalize.
Have the person you wish to persuade explain what you mean in his own words. Make sure you haven't lost this person by being too general or too abstract. Keep it specific. Keep to the point. Don't deviate.
Show your authority.

When dealing with the immediate point of view--

DO NOT put it in writing. These people need visual contact with you. When we say don't put it in writing, we mean printed matter is ineffectual as a tool of persuasion.
DO NOT deal in long range plans. We don't call this point of view IMMEDIATE for nothing.
DO NOT Speak in general terms which force him to draw conclusions. If you let these people draw conclusions, they'll probably be the wrong ones, and also they will feel frustrated for having been forced to do so. These people like to be told what to do. It gives them a feeling of security. Just back it up with authority, vested or implied. Don't leave much to chance.
DO NOT assume that he understands.
DO NOT ask him to make decisions. Make them for him, backing them up with authority.

In summation: When people hold the immediate point of view, security and safety for themselves and their loved ones are the keys to persuasion. Speak in terms of these things, and you won't ever be far off base. Try to tie everything you want them to do into these two values, security, and safety. That's what motivates the person with the immediate point of view.

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Persuading a person when they hold the Suspicious point of view

People with an extremely suspicious point of view are motivated by a strong posture. These people come on strong and only respect people who do the same. Vested authority persuades these types, but implied authority is likely to be a different matter. For example, the authority of one "expert" is not enough. You need many "experts" to persuade. The suspicious person says, "Where is your badge?" They want to see credentials. If you don't have authority over them, you will probably have to go out of your way to please them in order to gain you desires. The motto of the suspicious types is "Your's is not to question why I want this; your's is but to do it or die."

As for the suspicious point of view in discussion, the key is relative position of authority. Are you superior, equal, or a subordinate? If superior, user your vested authority. If equal in rank, you must depend upon your implied authority; but most likely you are not going to have much success changing this person's actions. If subordinate, seduction (the fulfilling of his desires for price) is the only thing you've got. Finally, a good example never works on the suspicious point of view.

When dealing with the suspicious point of view, DO:

Take time to think before speaking. These people are waiting to pounce if you give them the slightest opening.
Delay decisions until the next day. An old adage says not to make a decision in the heat of the moment, and people with this point of view are experts at creating heat.
Be firm and look him in the eye. Research shows that these people perceive kindness and friendliness as weakness.
Exude confidence and poise.
Be blunt and to the point. They respect this and like to be treated in a straight forward manner. Small talk is perceived as an attempt to obscure important points and create deception.
Remember that a person with the suspicious point of view can often make anything sound O.K. Suspicious people depend upon emotion to fire an issue and cloud it. They demand facts and data for persuasion, but hope you will settle for a lot less. If you do, it only confirms suspicions that you are weak. The key to maintaining a posture of strength in the eyes of a person with a suspicious point of view is to not try to shout him down, but rather to insist upon the same quality of data and fact for persuasion that he does. In short, have him put up or shut up!

When dealing with the suspicious point of view--

DO NOT lose your temper. Don't move from a logical to an emotional plane. If you do, you're just playing into their hands.
DO NOT get trapped in exaggerations. You won't if you stay out of an emotional encounter. Stick to the facts.
DO NOT panic. Remain calm and firm. These people cone on strong and with the ring of conviction. They can seem almost overwhelming. Just remember that it is the emotion that is overwhelming, not the facts.
DO NOT try to answer all his points immediately. Let him exhaust himself in emotional outburst; then cut through the emotion and deal with his factual points, if any.
DO NOT be forced to decide before you are prepared.

Merger negotiations between Gruber Corporations and the Martin Company had been stalled for months by the staunch position of Gruber management. They were inflexible and the point of view of the chairman of Gruber was one of deep suspicion. Then, one day, the Gruber chairman offered a compromise in the midst of a ring of rhetoric to the effect that Gruber was giving in even though their previous position was justified and, in return for this expansiveness, the Martin Company should accept the new terms immediately.

From the point of view of the Martin Company, this concession was so unexpected, and so gratifying in light of Gruber's previous inflexibility, that the temptation was strong to accept the new proposal immediately, lest Gruber retract the offer.

Fortunately, in Martin management there was one person who know about dealing from the suspicious point of view. His advice not to be swept away in the emotional relief of the moment was accepted. Martin Company waited, and then in the cold light of reality saw the Gruber proposal as woefully inadequate to a fair settlement, though very profitable to Gruber.

When a person (or institution) with a suspicious point of view attempts to force you to make an instantaneous decision, you can be sure he is attempting to gain an advantage.

In summation: When persuading a person with the suspicious point of view, marshal all the authority you can muster. Your own, that of your superiors or that of experts in the field of contention. Remain calm, be firm and demand the same amount of detailed support for a position that the person with the suspicious point of view does.

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Persuading a person when they hold the Microscopic point of view

When a person holds the microscopic point of view, his sources of motivation are all external. Hence, all types of persuasion have some effect on him. For example, he believes that promotion comes from loyalty, sacrifice and service rather than creativity, capability, and initiative.

The microscopic point of view is also susceptible to discussion. But you need lots of data, and he needs to see it on paper. And the microscopic point of view is also susceptible to example. A person with this point of view likes a good example, and lies to think he sets one. Hence, he will tend to have a rather high opinion of himself. People with a microscopic point of view are proud of their attention to detail and look down on people who aren't as sensitive. They think they perceive the big picture; mostly, though, they do not. From a microscopic point of view, you tend to see the details and not the big picture, which is why it's referred to as "microscopic."

Since people with the microscopic point of view respond to every type of persuasion, they are the ones who make us think we all know how to persuade, and that we all understand human nature. This is also why almost everyone deals with people as if they were microscopic. Furthermore, this is why people who don't respond are categorized as being in need of more data, and not a new approach. More data works in persuading the microscopic point of view, and we all enjoy some success with this point of view.

When dealing with the microscopic point of view, DO:

Put it in writing. The written word is more thorough than the spoken word, and thus preferred by the microscopic point of view. If you really want to persuade this person, legitimize your points by putting them in print.
List specific steps to accomplish goals. For this point of view it is catastrophic to skip a step in the procedure to be followed. This point of view is more concerned with the means to the goal that what the goal is.
Be well organized. In the eyes of the microscopic point of view, neatness shows concern for detail.
Give specific directions. Say "I want you to do this...", not, "Here's a suggestion for your consideration." This point of view person likes definite statements.
Relate to safety and security. From this point of view, security is the opposite of ambiguity. These people want to know where they stand. Also, in their eyes, paying attention to detail is paying attention to security.
Be heroic. When a person holds the microscopic point of view, he likes a hero. Someone who takes charge, shows him where he stands, and makes him feel secure in his role.

When dealing with the microscopic point of view--

DO NOT get involved in semantics. When a person holds this point of view, he is apt to take you literally.
DO NOT try to get him to overlook details. It is a sin of the first magnitude, in the eyes of the person with the microscopic point of view, to overlook any details.
DO NOT be vague or general.
DO NOT try to get him to overlook or break the rules. This is not necessarily because he is honest (although he may be), but rather that he is concerned with external sources of punishment. The source of his motivation is external; consequently, so is the source of his punishment.
DO NOT overlook his ideas. People who have other points of view tend to be weary of this person's constant insistence on detail and are in danger of neglecting the microscopic person's instincts and feelings. This is especially true of people with the telescopic point of view. Remember, that a person with the microscopic point of view often sees things that escape others.

In summation: When persuading the microscopic point of view, marshal supporting data for your contentions and put it on paper.

Discuss your points and be willing to set a good example of the conduct you wish.

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Persuading a person when they hold the Telescopic point of view

A person with the telescopic point of view does not respond well to authority. He will obey if the vested authority is forceful enough, but the obedience will be one of acquiescence rather than enthusiasm.

To persuade an individual with the telescopic point of view you will do better and gain better performance by utilizing discussion to achieve persuasion.

People with the telescopic point of view are always open to discussion, especially when the discussion offers profit for them. This profit need not be monetary; it may involve more freedom, more harmony, or more love. The key word is "more". this is a word you should emphasize when persuading a person with the telescopic point of view.

People with a telescopic point of view only respond to a good example when it is an example of someone achieving the goal they are striving for.

When most people speak of setting a good example, they are referring to an example of a correct way to do something. For a person with the telescopic point of view, such examples are useless. For them, the end justifies the means.

When dealing with the telescopic point of view, DO:

Listen and draw him out. This person has to be heard. No matter how idiotic his ideas, or how off base, you have to let him spew them out. They boil up inside and he won't listen to your side until he feels he has been sufficiently understood.
Ask questions about his points. These types are great for ideas but not so hot when it comes to researching feasibility.
Point out the balance between accomplishing goals and effects on people. To the telescopic type, the end justifies the means. It's not that they're callous as much as it is that they may be neglectful of some of the consequences of their long range actions. They need to be reminded.
Get him to make your ideas his ideas by leading him. The best way to motivate a telescopic type to a desired course of action is to make him think he thought of the action himself. Lead him to the obvious conclusion and then let him draw the conclusion himself and don't be offended if he seems to take credit for the whole plan. After all, you're the one who's in control.

When dealing with the telescopic point of view--

DO NOT answer points as he brings them up. This is very frustrating to him. He's trying to get across the big picture, and you keep bringing up what are to him irrelevant and nit-picky points that can be handled later. Telescopic people put off problems until tomorrow, and deal with success today by living in the glories of the future. This is why they are so optimistic. If you persist in brining up details, as he speaks he will attempt to dominate you by talking faster and louder. Just listen, and then bring up your points, not in terms of statements, but rather in terms of questions. Telescopics love questions; it's a confirmation of their special image. This also true of microscopic and outwards. Do not say, "That violates standard accounting procedures"; instead ask, "Does this comply with standard accounting procedures?" This will make him think, evaluate, and act to correct, rather than put him on the defensive. This is treating him the way he wants to be treated.
DO NOT draw conclusions for him. Lead him to the obvious conclusion, and let him make it. That also makes it his, and makes him committed. Resist the temptation to battle over who gets the credit. What matters is getting the job done, and motivating and guiding these people and their unique talents. In the end, the person who is in control ultimately gets the credit.
DO NOT impute motive. Don't take a person with the telescopic point of view literally. When you pin him down, he'll say he never meant that. Semantically, this is not the most accurate point of view around.
DO NOT lose patience with his ability to give answers that don't really fit. A person with the telescopic point of view often feels obligated to answer, even if he doesn't have the answer.

In summation: When persuading the telescopic person, remember to make it seem like a big deal with big benefits for him. Do this by making observations that lead to an inevitable conclusion, and trust him to draw the conclusion and become committed to the idea. Remember his ultimate authority is himself; so appeal to his sense of adventure and desires, and not to some external authority for confirmation.

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Persuading a person when they hold the Outward point of view

For a person with the outward point of view, authority persuades only if it is an extension of the self. They will take orders from people who see things the way they do and have vested, but not implied, authority. However, if the person in authority is not in agreement, forget it.

As for discussion, no way. The only possible exception is a person setting a good example who makes a point.

People with the outward point of view perceive a good example as someone who acts in a manner they admire, who is outgoing in his concern for the well-being of masses of people. Maybe when they see this, just maybe, they may open up their minds enough to consider the point of view that another person presents. Along with the people who have the suspicious point of view, these types are the toughest to persuade. Mainly because they are sure they are right, and anyone who doesn't agree is therefore wrong. The key to getting through to this type is to make them identify with you by seeming to identify with them.

When dealing with the outward point of view, DO:

Show concern for people. The key word is "people", not a person; plural rather than singular. These people are usually more concerned about groups than individuals. These are the people who have "social" consciousness. Lenin, Marx, and even Hitler were extremes within this category, willing to sacrifice millions for the good of the state; that is, the good of the masses. Obviously, most people with this point of view are not nearly so extreme.
Be friendly, kind, outgoing and warm. People holding this point of view are big on first impressions and perceive this attitude as a positive first step in the "right" direction.
Listen and feed back in his own words until he agrees you understand what he wants. This is very important since often a person holding the outward point of view is not clear on specifics, being too busy spouting current social jargon. Furthermore, if he perceives you are not in accord with his view, he is likely to relegate you to the aggregate of those who just can't understand. You can't communicate with anyone who feels you don't understand.
Agree to try to help. You must show a willingness to get involved. This doesn't mean you have to agree with the methods they espouse.

After you have done all this, ask for consideration of your views. These people feel you must understand them before they are willing to try to understand you. Even then, don't hope for too much.

When dealing with the outward point of view--

DO NOT put down the person holding this point of view. Don't tell him he's impractical or hypocritical or just plain wrong. He won't listen, and he will tune out.
DO NOT stress material things above people.
DO NOT verbalize the opposite of his views. Even if you are dispassionate in your observations, a person holding this point of view won't like it and will attribute the observations to you, even if you are only citing the opinions of others.
DO NOT call him names like "do-gooder". A person holding the outward point of view will treat you with contempt if you do.

In summation: These people are very difficult to persuade, simply because they feel sure they are right, and thus you are wrong, and anything that is wrong is bad. They can best be persuaded by getting them to adopt another point of view. It should be noted that a person with an extreme outward point of view sees books like this as full of lies, since his emphasis is on the sameness of people's desires, while ours is on the differences in peoples' desires.

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Persuading a person when they hold the Inward point of view

A person holding this point of view responds to authority, vested or implied., if he perceives the authority is "right." That is, if it complies with his standards and ethics. The key then is to seek out his standard, and then approach him with implied authority.

A person with the inward point of view can also be persuaded through discussion. Again, the key is to orient toward his value system which necessitates determination of his standard of right and wrong.

He will also respond to what he feels is a good example. But the key is to know what he defines as right or wrong, good or bad, etc.

In all cases, persuading this individual involves coming to know his particular value system quite well.

When dealing with the inward point of view, DO:

Be positive. Don't be picky, negative, fault-finding. He finds all of that burdensome, irritating and not relevant.
Make suggestions, not demands. A person with this point of view is very sensitive to people questioning his ability and mentality. This person doesn't like brusque attitudes; he prefers courtesy. A person with this point of view takes the hint so well he perceives the overt statement as vulgar.
Lead by example.
Speak adult to adult. Don't be patronizing or you will be perceived as insensitive and vulgar; and vulgar people have no credibility with the inward point of view.
Assume he cares for people. These people appear aloof because they are slow to commit themselves; but once you've got them committed, they'll go to the grave with you.

When dealing with the inward point of view--

DO NOT be harsh in criticism. These people are very sensitive. A little criticism goes a long way, but too much turns you, in their eyes, into a boor, and suddenly you lose your credibility.
DO NOT not talk down to him. Patronizing is as bad as overcriticizing. Again, it turns you in his eyes into an insensitive boor.
DO NOT exaggerate. Generalities, over-statements, anything that lacks subtlety and an understanding of the shades of gray is perceived as insensitivity, the sign of the vulgarity, and such people have little or no credibility. To have power over these people, you must have credibility. They adore sensitivity and competence.
DO NOT have confrontation. A person holding this point of view will go to great lengths to avoid a confrontation. They believe in "Live and let live;" but if backed into a corner, they are formidable adversaries, armed with logic, a sense of subtleties, intellect, and an instinct for knowing where to put the knife. After the confrontation, as far as they are concerned, you are dead. You have NO credibility at all.
DO NOT attempt to manipulate. Don't be gross or crass in your efforts to persuade this person.
DO NOT assume he can't see through a phony. Because of his dislike for conflict, a person holding the inward point of view seems hard to type, and as such, the temptation to form many assumptions is great. Don't ever assume anything. Above all, don't assume he agrees with you because he hasn't disagreed. This is the one point of view that will not contradict you even if he feels you're wrong. A person with this point of view doesn't contradict you simply because his motto is "Live and let live," "To each is own," and "Don't make Waves." But don't assume that because he doesn't verbalize his disagreement that he is in agreement. Silence does NOT give consent. After you have made your points, you must ask this person what he thinks. Otherwise, it is likely you will never know.

In summation: The key to successfully persuading a person with the inward point of view is to understand his values, approach him subtly and sensitively, avoid being overly critical. Treat this person the way he wants to be treated.

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